GP(R) – Episode 12 – Shame, Resilience & the Myth of Competence with Maddie Tonjes, LCSW

GP(R) – Episode 12 – Shame, Resilience & the Myth of Competence with Maddie Tonjes, LCSW

“I want to learn, and I want to be better than I am. I feel that gap. I know that I’m limited. I know that I’m brand-new. I know that I’m green, and I know that there’s simply nothing other than time and focus, dedication, that’s going to change that.” – Maddie Tonjes

Gen Z is at the mic, and they have some thoughts. I can feel my fellow “olds” getting their hackles up. But, hold on! I’m asking all of us to stay curious, regardless of generational or career-stage identity. Isn’t that what we instruct our clients to do when faced with new information or complicated emotions? Time to take our own advice!

Maddie Tonjes, LCSW, is an early-career therapist at Centered Therapy Chicago with keen insights into what her generational cohort needs to thrive. And, honestly? I’m here for two suggestions in particular: creating space for client population preference to develop and fostering shame resilience related to the learning curve.

“I graduated in 2021. I think it’s so hard ’cause, even in school, what you hear again and again is, to get experience, you have to be a generalist. You have to be willing to work with anybody, see anything, and figure it out. I don’t think people go to grad school to become generalists,” observes Maddie.

Most of us enter the profession with the universal desire to “help people.” Altruism aside, we also know (fairly early on) which clients we prefer to work with (i.e., LGBTQIA, children, people with an addiction, etc). Therapists coming out of school today grew up in an accelerated timeline. It makes sense that they want to work with their chosen demographic now, gaining experience as they go.

Maddie and her contemporaries appreciate practice owners who foster organic career development—and can weather the inevitable anxieties that accompany professional growth. “We have to think about how we’re training new therapists, ’cause, so often, it’s like trial by fire. It’s just get out there! Try things! You end up making a lot of mistakes,” Maddie admits.

Newer therapists feel intense societal pressure to appear more polished than they are at this stage of their careers. It’s no wonder that shame creeps in. “Mistakes aren’t inherently bad, but I think, sometimes, it can be really demoralizing to be like, why do I feel like I’m so bad at this?” Maddie asks, adding, “But also, why do I expect that I would be really good at this right away?” 


MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Calling In

Kristin Neff


RECOMMENDED EPISODES

The Burnt Out Practice Owner: Where Do You Get Help When S— Happens at Your Private Therapy Practice? with Bianka Hardin

The Burnt Out Practice Owner: How Transparent Should Owners Be With Their Employees? With Rowan Tree Counseling Team


GUEST CONTACT & BIO

Centered Therapy Chicago
Maddie Tonjes, LCSW, (she/her) is passionate about creating a space for healing and growth through empathy, warmth, and vulnerability. She is also the Coordinator of Play + Expressive Therapies at Centered Therapy Chicago, focusing on supporting fellow clinicians in engaging in creative and play-based work with clients of all ages.

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